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It hurts to feel betrayed, to feel broken. Its a pain to feel a heartbreak such as that I've experience from you. I felt I knew you, I felt that I loved you and vise versa. We were a ride or die duo and nothing could ever part us; or so I thought.

It would be wrong to hold a grudge. So that I won't. Forgive you I will, because its the right thing to do. Why have the burden on my heart, but I do understand, it will be hard for things to ever be the same -- you hurt me so, and that I could never forget.

Family is family, regardless of what you said. You're blood, you were a role model. You were my friend. But the thug in you couldn't settle; of course you wouldn't have it any other way.

Never in my life did I think that words and actions could pierce and soul as solid as mine, could penetrate my heart, so bold. But you, my sweet have managed to do so, and have managed to break me down to ashes.

All I wanted was your respect, just for a minute or two. But now I see how you really feel. That the past to you is only the past. I still cherish every moment we spent. And while I'm willing to put this behind me, I will never be able to look at you the same way again.

So here I am. Just me. To the world I say: Take it or leave it, for you will receive nothing more. If you don't like it, fine. For I can walk alone. I'm strong, I'm intelligent, nothing can conquer me. At times I may grow weary, and at times I might appear to be unsure. But in the end, I realize, that though good friend can sometimes be of service, I can only rely on myself.

So I don't bid farewell to thee, for this shall not be the end. Maybe a change for the better, for everything has its purpose.

Prisoner

--The bars, the chains the whole nine. I can't help but watch the time pass me by. So faced paced life is, but here I am. A mere prisoner. Not your average prisoner; no, thats not me. This time, I, the prisoner am I victim. A victim to your judgmental eyes and your cutting thoughts of appraisal. You yourselves feel you have the power to decide my worth, but who are you to decide my worth, when you have nothing to do with my fate, dear friend. Woe is she, some think to themselves, but my alter ego can't help but think "Woe is you, who feels the right to judge me before even discovering yourself".

Even with this said, I can't help but second guess. Am I what you say I am? Or am I something totally different? I can't help but sit and contemplate the difference between my soul in the eyes of society and the heart in the eyes Reality.

I continue to watch the passersby, without giving a second thought as to who they are, and where they come from. All that matters is that I am me, and they are they. Behind these bars, I'm somewhat safe from them. I'm safe from their shards of rage, that often slip from their tongues, and slide through the bars only to penetrate my soul and leave me scorned.

In the end, all I can do is wallow in the sounds of my shackles, and every now and then, bring joy by reaching out to touch one of them every now and then. But I'm always sure to bring my hand back quick enough, so that I may not be hurt again, so that I may not be mistreated any more than I already have; so that I may live tear free, and may appear strong to those stinging judging eyes. So that you may not make a mockery of me.

I continued to tell myself that I am my own prisoner, I choose to do this on my own; but how can I believe this, when I do this all because of society. A prisoner is a prisoner, yes. But who is it up to to set me free in the end. Myself or you?

Random Thought

The thought graces my mind with such ease. Not once have I been able to think of something, and be so calm, feel so secure. Something about this thought just calms my nerves, even if I'm at my worse. As I gather my thought, there appears your face. Time and time again I find myself in this position; finding it hard to picture anyone but you; finding it difficult to erase this image of you from my mind, even if only temporarily.

I tend to lose sight of the rest of the world, but I never seem to lose sight of you, nor do I lose site of this thought; this dream; this possible fairy tale of you and I -- together. Every second spent thinking about you, is a second closer to that glory; a second more that I feel myself falling for you; a second more I have to discover something great about you that I hadn't known before.

When I'm around you, I'm carefree. As I lay in your arms, I feel like this bond is unbreakable. Although this is not always the reality of things, I often find myself dreaming; dreaming of how I want things to be -- how they will be, if not forever, long enough for me to appreciate it, embrace it, and learn from it.

Some call me a hopeless romantic. Others may just consider me insane. But I know, its all honestly I have just been graced by the likings of you.