Making Decisions

"Wanting to be mad, but cannot be, for it would make her a hypocrit. Is it even worth my contemplation? Worth the wink of an eye? I feel a poem."

Maybe not a poem anymore. But definately a blog. A meaningful blog. One in which you may question your own values, morals, and life decisions.

"wanting to be mad, but cannot be, for it would make her a hypocrit. Is it even worth my contemplation? Worth the wink of an eye? I feel a poem."--This is my status. And after running out of character space while writing this staus, and not having completed my thought, I realized that there may or may not be something on my heart. Something deeper than the cover. Something deeper than the mind. But something well into my soul.

Its generally easy to do one thing, subconsciencely, unknowingly, ignorant of the consequences. But why is it so difficult, once zapped back into this game of life, to face the consequences? Reaping the "benefits"of your action. Predicting what you have forseen for a long time coming. Deal with it when you see your forsight begin to unfold. Seeing things fall apart.

Why is it so easy to be a hypocrit: say something is wrong, and scorn those that do it, but then do so yourself. Although, at the time your hypocrisy may to appear to be what it is, but in the big picture, you're just as bad as those you shame.

With all the expected jealousies, arguements, disscussions, laughter, and wonderful forgiveness in the world, why do we as people always tend to go off on a tangent from our faithful paths, even after making the mistake once, and being forgiven for it? And after the mistake is made a second time, we are quick to quarrel, and defend ourselves, knowing in our mind we're wrong, but refusing to fall short of pride.

People, including myself, need to begin to think. Question ourselves before we take actions. We should think about statements that are made, and judgements that are passed. We should ruminate on the idea of the "benefit of the doubt", and that also consider that somethings are still better left undone, unsaid, untyped.

With that being said, I feel as though I owe someone an apology. A simple retaliation, from my direction and yours, made me realize that i was wrong. And getting upset at you would make me a hypocrit. So I will not do so. My eyes have seen what I have done to you, for I can feel "satisfation", I feel the "security" and I feel the "love". But aside from the illusion, and it all reality, I feel heart ache, mistrust. I now realize how three simple words can effect a whole mood. How "hug and kiss" can be more than a simple action, but can make people begin to not only feel emotions, but see it.

I now understand that you can't live life thinking only as one, when you're not alone. I realize that all actions do take a butterfly effect. I now see that we all must be careful of what we say and do. Unfortunately, I had to learn by making a mistake, that in the end hurt me, and had me thinking about myself. But Hopefully those of you that read this will have a different aspect on decision making, and not end up suffering, confused, and alone.