Gone

I sit and stare at your pictures,
As a constant remind of what is mine,
And what I still have,
Yet, I still drown in my own salty river
This isn't your average heartbreak
For what should be lost, is still in possession
Its just in a different place
On my mind, it remains...
Your countenance, your voice, your sense of ease
Then realizing that yesterday was the last time
And that it was the final moment to engrave it in my mind
Brings me back to the reality
That you're not by my side
You're not everywhere I want you to be
I can no longer light up everyday,
Knowing that I'd get to see you..touch you
I'm selfish, I know
Because you're only doing wats best for the both of us
Preparing yourself for what is to come
Preparing yourself for the future in which I am to part take
Yes, I am proud to see you move on
Move on to a high level of life
But it saddens me, because I realize my happiness is gone
I never knew it would be so difficult
To face a temporary goodbye
I never knew how much I loved you, appreciated you
Until you were gone.
Just hearing your voice brings me to tears
Because I know thats all it will be
Just a voice on the phone
Or shallow word through AIM
I'll miss our talks, our moments
Being able to stare into those beautiful brown eyes...
Being able to lay there in your arms..
Sitting together, watching the hours go by
But your temporary absense is keeping me
Knowing that I be able to someday see you again
Knowing that I will be reunited with you
Though the days are passing slowly,
And my mind is going through a cycle of emotions...
Excitement, sorrow, love, security, anger...
I realize that this short suffering
Will soon lead to me, being with you again
To have and to hold, through sickness and through health
For rich or for poor
But for now, all I can do
Is sit and stare at your pictures,
As a constant remind of what is mine,
And what I still have
And drown in my salty river
Until I accept that fact that you are
Gone